Three churchy things that press my buttons

Over years of attending/visiting many churches, here are a few things that really bug me. Mind you, I might be wrong about all of these. But here goes:

1) Prayers that are too long
Yes I know, Jesus prayed for hours. Yes I know, pray incessantly. But if scripture is to be our guide, those are private prayers. Biblical corporate prayers are substantive yet succinct. For a bit of data, I just read Jesus' "high priestly prayer" (John 17) aloud and it took less than two minutes. If you pray much longer you will lose the congregation. And it won't be their fault, it will be yours. You will have transitioned from a (potentially, at least) God-glorifying privilege to self-indulgence. Less is more.

2) Sermons that are too long ¹
Same thing. Yes I know you have a message that you want to deliver that is (you believe) of crucial importance. ² But if you look out and a non-negligible fraction of the congregation is sleeping, yawning, not paying attention, fidgeting, doodling, getting up to get more coffee, looking at their phones, etc-- you have worn them out. Diminishing returns and all that. And it's not their fault, it's your fault. You will have transitioned from a (potentially, at least) God-glorifying privilege to self-indulgence. Less is more. Cut the sermon time, increase the fellowship time.

3) Preaching Worship Leaders
This is the hottest of my personal buttons. It may related to my obsession of keeping my potatoes from touching my collards (I live in the south) and my greens from touching my salmon (the enlightened south). I do not appreciate worship leaders giving a mini-sermon about the song they are about to lead. I don't want to be told: "I want you to contemplate the meaning of the words, and mediate on the great spiritual truth that the lyrics convey. The words are telling us of ... [insert theology]...". Seriously worship leader, this is not your task. Your task is to lead worship, not to give a catechism. Your giving a mini-sermon is no more appropriate than an usher or a greeter pausing in their assignment to give spontaneous theological instruction. Don't do it.

So... have I achieved curmudgeon status?

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¹ The same applies to Sunday School teaching. Respect the time limit. I guarantee you that you have nothing so profound that it is worth bleeding into (important--more important than your lesson) time set aside for fellowship. Trust me, it can wait until the next class.

² It's not. Your sermon may be fascinating, brilliant, theologically rich, and insightful. But it is not of crucial importance. Except for that part that sometimes gets put in at the end in an obligatory fashion: the Gospel. The Gospel is not the only part of anyone's sermon that is valuable and edifying and glorifying, but it is the only part that is of vital importance.