God and Baseball Statistics (modified)

In the six days of sports creation, God created sports successively closer and closer to the perfect divine image. To be precise:

Day 1: Basketball (Intended for giants, i.e., the Nephilim, to keep their minds off the daughters of men. Alas it didn't work, because the sport was too boring, with no defense, and the daughters of men were quite fetching.)
Day 2: Soccer
Day 3: Real Football
Day 4: Hockey
Day 5: Baseball
Day 6: NASCAR

And on the seventh day ¹ he watched NASCAR (The S is for Sabbath). And it was very good. Except for Kevin Harvick hitting the wall in turn two.

A "Sports Theodicy" is an attempt to explain the puzzle of where figure skating, sissy Formula One Racing, and Curling came from, since God had nothing to do with these.

God often uses sports to illustrate that "the wicked shall prosper." For example,

They [the Red Sox] spend their days in prosperity, And suddenly they go down to Sheol. (Job 21:13, NNYYV ²) 

Though baseball is not the pinnacle of sports creation, it's darn close. And it has been given the special honor as the sport-most-holy in its conduciveness to statistical analysis.

We all know about batting average (BA). If you don't—well in the words of that greatest American philosopher:

"I say, there's just something yech about a boy who don't, I say don't like baseball." (Foghorn Leghorn, Instructions for the Care of Widows' Sons, 1962.)

BA is simply the number of hits divided by the number at bats. By divine fiat the number of significant digits shall always be kept at three. Never four, and five is just out of the question. And, lest thou be sentenced to be a Pittsburgh Pirate fan for eternity, thou shall omit the leading zero and speak the number as if it has been multiplied by a thousand, for the Lord owns the cattle (from which rawhide for baseballs and leather for mitts is made) on a thousand hills. ³

For example:

A player who has 207 hits in 611 at bats has BA of .339.

It shall be said this batter hits "three-thirty-nine" and not "approximately zero-point-three-four" as the pagans are wont to do.

A more interesting statistic is the batting average on balls in play (BABIP). For this statistic, you take the number of times the batter gets the ball in play, i.e., hits it into fair territory, divided by plate appearances. Strikeouts and home runs are excluded. Sacrifice flies, however, count as plate appearances. The formula is:

BABIP = (H – HR)/(AB – K – HR + SF)

where H is hits, HR is home runs, AB is at bats, K is strikeouts, and SF is sacrifice flies.

By comparison, the regular batting average is given by:

BA = H/AB

The average BABIP is around .300. Usually, but not always, a hitter's BABIP is higher than his BA.

Here is where things get interesting. If you are a general manager and your team needs a hitter, you generally snag the one with the highest BA. But suppose there are two players available with the same BA but different BABIP. For example:

Bill Buckner: BA: .280, BABIP: .290
Omar Moreno: BA: .280, BABIP .340

Which would you take? The counter-intuitive answer: take Buckner, the hitter with the lower BABIP.

Why?

Because it turns out that to a good first approximation once a batted ball is in play whether or not it results in a safe hit is random. Does the ball go to where a defender ain't? So a BABIP below the average of .300 indicates a player who has, statistically speaking, been unlucky. His BA should be higher. Conversely a player whose BABIP is higher than .300 has been lucky. His BA is artificially high.

Over time you expect the BA of a player with a high BABIP to drop, and the BA of a player with a low BABIP to rise.

So take Bill Buckner. Send Omar Moreno to triple-A.

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¹ In the New Testament era, NASCAR races were moved to the first day of the week. Because reasons.

² The New New York Yankee Version. Zondervan, 2018.

³ Dispensationalists argue that it is exactly 1000 hills. Covenant theologians say: "Meh.  500, 2000, -1/12?  It doesn't matter, it's all under the umbrella of a single covenant of grace."