Thursday, October 26, 2017

Atheism Minus: Oh Please Do!

About five or so years ago dumbest of the dumb and the most loathsome of the loathsome internet atheists 1,2 started a movement called Atheism+ ("Atheism Plus", or "A+"). It was essentially a new denomination of atheists, with a circle of orthodoxy of about a Planck length in radius.

The statement of faith of A+ was that True Atheists  went beyond just disbelieving in gods. A+ converts added to their atheism: third-wave feminism, intersectionality, humanism, science, uber-rationality, far-left ideology, and most importantly social justice. Theological leaders decreed that these are not just desirable additions to atheism, but in a gnostic sort of way they are natural consequences for the enlightened atheist. The True Atheist.

A+ had its own iconography and its own forum. The forum eventually died of neglect, and it is greatly missed. While breathing it provided an endless stream of yuks and a veritable mother lode of blog fodder. Essentially it burnt itself out through zealous discipline of its own congregation.

What generally happened is this:

1. Dogmatically pure "elders" became the inquisition, i.e. the forum moderators. A requirement seemed to be that you self-diagnosed and placed yourself on the autism spectrum.

2. Excited wide-eyed noob acolytes would  eagerly join the forum.

3. Within a post or two they would unwittingly violate a commandment and be charged with one of a semi-infinite number of "ism" mortal sins, which included, alphabetically: (ableism, ageism, ...) 4

4) The noob would be expected to prostrate itself 5 and acknowledge its unworthiness, and vow to repent.

5) Upon a second offense (which often occurred via another ism-sin in the noob's apology for the first ism-sin) the dog 6 was shunned for a period and could not post.

As you can imagine, such a brilliant star will quickly burn through its own fuel. A+ is now nothing more than a brown dwarf, 7 invisible to the naked eye.

A+, what happened? I miss you so much!

Not to despair. A replacement has been announced!

Oh PLEASE let this happen, please! It is so very clever. Instead of adding dogma to dictionary atheism to create A+, you remove heresy from--something, I don't know what it is (it can't be dictionary atheism, since that means "only" denying the existence of gods) to arrive back at the same place. It is reminiscent of hole theory in physics, where the removal of a negative particle is the equivalent of adding a positive hole.

I especially love how the siren call is to "us original members of the Atheist Movement".

This is an amazing gift.

1 The movement's "intellectual" heavyweights included the likes of Bishop PZ Myers (aka Peezus) and Cardinal Richard Carrier (two peas in a pod). I rest my case. They even had a deceiver, a fallen from grace morningstar, an anti-Peezus, who was, believe it or not, Richard Dawkins.

2 There are, of course, super-intelligent, thoughtful, civil, formidable,  friendly, likable, knowledgable, and scholarly internet atheists. They did not join the A+ denomination.

3 The atheist-in-name-only heretics who only disbelieved gods were segregated into another apostate denomination, the so-called "Dictionary Atheists" (hisss!) Roughly speaking the analogy is:

Dictionary Atheists : A+ :: Mainline Christianity : Westboro Baptists

4 Listing them alphabetically is the sin of lexicographism.

5 In additional to mortal sins, A+ had an unpardonable sin: the use of an incorrect pronoun.

6 Rats, by using dog as an insult I committed the sin of homosapienism, and then repeated my error by starting this footnote with "Rats". Dogs and rats are just as good as people.

7 I cannot even enumerate the ism-sins of brown dwarf.


  1. I heard that A+theism died of asphyxiation after it declared oxygen to be triggering.

    1. Makes sense. I recall hoping for a self-referential trigger warning that would cause it to collapse into a singularity.