Wednesday, April 10, 2013

You Must Obey The Law

North Korea is a wasteland with arguably the most batshit crazy head-of-state on the planet, Kim Jong-un, the Asian Pillsbury doughboy.

Now according to Wikipedia, North Korea is officially an atheist state.

Well that just won't do! No way, man. After all, we have:  

The Ipso Facto No Atheist Is That Bad Law: Stalin and Mao were not atheists. They were demigods of the religions Stalinism and Maoism. We know this because mass murder on such a scale can only be committed by religionists.

Clearly this should be amended:  

Additionally, Kim Jong-un is not an atheist. He is the demigod of the religion Jongism, noted for its Shrine of the Subway that Runs Once a Year for the Rare Visiting Foreign Barbarian.

Moved inexorably by this law, Jerry Coyne writes:
The state [North Korea] is in many ways a theocracy
Of course it is. All states run by lunatic atheists are theocracies. The Ipso Facto No Atheist Is That Bad Law can not be violated.


  1. Considering all the supernatural events that were claimed to accompany the presence of North Korea's leaders, it seems perfectly reasonable to view that country as a kind of theocracy. Why do you think otherwise? You don't give any coherent argument against it at all.

  2. The fact that the NK regime keeps their people ignorant, feeds them constant propaganda, and takes advantage of ignorant peoples' superstitions (humans are naturally superstitious) doesn't make them a theocracy. It just makes them assholes. What they are doing doesn't even happen in Iran.