I'm possessed

I’ve decided (for today, at least) that the toughest verse in the Bible is Luke 12:33. In particular, the first sentence thereof.

³² "Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ³³ Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. ³⁴ For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (Luke 12:32-34)

Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Now, how do I avoid the plain meaning? Let's fire up a couple of tried-and-true escape mechanisms:

1) Is this in a parable? No.

2) Can this be cast as figurative? Does it really mean: "Do not hold on to your possessions. Be willing to give them up at a moment’s notice, should they be of use to God or the church. Do not make idols of your possessions. Do not value your self-made kingdom more then the kingdom of God." Can it be taken that way? No.

I would like it to mean that. I could convince myself that I was commendable in that regard. But does it actually say that? No it doesn’t. It states: Sell your possessions, and give to the needy.

I am so out of compliance. It is not because I am materialistic, because I’m not. Many sins I suffer from, but materialism is not among them, at least not in a big way. Your private gossip about brother Heddle when you know you shouldn’t be gossiping would not be: “Boy, is he is materialistic.” Or if it is, I'd honestly be surprised.

My discomfort is all about what I would call, in my spin room, responsibility while others might call it a lack of trust. I am building a bigger barn (which has gotten considerably smaller in recent days) called "retirement" and "trust fund" because I have responsibilities. I have to think about my autistic son. I have to provide for him for when I am room temperature. I am anxious for him. You can say: God will take care of him to which I say: And how do you know that what I am doing is not God’s way of taking care of him?

But I am not selling my possessions and giving to the needy. Nor am I likely to live up to that standard. Ever. And that’s a real downer.