Humorous Scripture

I am taking a couple days off both work and blogging for some mini family vacation. So today’s blog is a summer rerun. One of my earliest blogs was about humorous scripture passages. I offered one, and got a couple more through the comments. Since there are a fair number of new readers to this blog, I thought that perhaps I could get some additional contributions.

My offering (from May 15) was this:

God was performing extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, so that handkerchiefs or aprons were even carried from his body to the sick, and the diseases left them and the evil spirits went out. But also some of the Jewish exorcists, who went from place to place, attempted to name over those who had the evil spirits the name of the Lord Jesus, saying, "I adjure you by Jesus whom Paul preaches." Seven sons of one Sceva, a Jewish chief priest, were doing this. And the evil spirit answered and said to them, "I recognize Jesus, and I know about Paul, but who are you?" And the man, in whom was the evil spirit, leaped on them and subdued all of them and overpowered them, so that they fled out of that house naked and wounded. (Acts 19:11-16, NASB)

Woe to the unbeliever who dares to invoke the name of Jesus! The very evil spirit you are attempting to combat may beat you and rob you of your dignity.

Craig Schwarze contributed this verse:

If a liar and deceiver comes and says, 'I will prophesy for you plenty of wine and beer,' he would be just the prophet for this people! (Micah 2:1)

And from Dawn, aka Ladydusk,

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!" He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord . Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths. (2 Kings 2:23-24)

Have anymore? I need enough so that I can write a book! Come on people!

My next post will probably be on Thursday or Friday.

UPDATE
Mark Byron: Balaam's Donkey in Numbers 22:21-41.

Joel Garver: I've always been amused by Gideon's exchange with the Lord in Judges 6:17-18, particularly when Gideon says, "Wait here, will you, while I go get a present for you?" And the Lord says, "I'll wait til you get back."

Jason Steffens: The greatest pick-up line ever told: Song of Solomon 6:4.

Henry: "No doubt but ye are the people, and wisdom shall die with you." (Job 12:2)

R.W.: I like Paul's afterthought in Acts 26:29, at the conclusion of his hearing before King Agrippa: "I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am--except for these chains!"

And another from me: Abraham's bargaining for Sodom in Genesis 18:23-33.